Jason and deMarco: Creating The Life You Want by J’son M. Lee
Inspired by the African American Civil Rights Movement, the LGBT community finds itself in a perpetual battle for equality. As gay rights advocates became more vocal, so did the gay rights opponents. Legalization of gay marriage seems to be the current hot topic. At last count, only 10 states allow same sex marriage; with a handful of others allowing civil unions or domestic partnerships. Emotions are high on both sides. Although we have made great strides, there is still so much yet to be done.
As our battle continues, it becomes increasingly more important that we make the most of our lives in the interim. Equality may not be imminent, but that doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice our happiness. It is still within our power to create the life we want.
Singing sensations, Jason and deMarco are the epitome of this mantra. The duo, who also happen to be life partners, make life look effortless. The couple met in 2001 and dated for a year. They have been together ever since. Despite their diverse backgrounds (Jason comes from a Pentecostal faith background while deMarco grew up Roman Catholic), the couple has managed to integrate their sexuality and spirituality within their relationship and professional careers. On the matter of their relationship, Jason says “There is no textbook or model…we get to create the kind of relationship we want, and everybody’s looks different….without having such a strong spiritual life, we may not be together…”
I switched gears a bit and asked the singers about their music. Some people call their style Christian, while others refer to it as Pop. I asked them how they define their music, and Jason replied, “Society always wants to label everything, and I think it encloses people in a box. That’s how we felt early on in our career. We were pinned the poster boys for gay Christian singers. In 2006…we released “This is Love”, which was our music video which went on to be #1 on LOGO. We finally felt like we broke free from this box we were put in because it was so much larger than a gay Christian issue. It was a mainstream Pop song. I think that’s how we became who we intended to be …”
The couple considers themselves more spiritual than Christian. They are firm believers that religion divides people and spirituality unites. To promote this message, the couple embarked on a 35 day tour beginning February 1, 2013. They traveled through 22 southwest and west coast cities. Not only does the tour commemorate their 10 year anniversary as a singing duo, but it also promotes their message of family and diversity. “Straight, black, white, Asian, man, woman, adopted, fostered or gay, we are all part of this human family and most of us want the same thing. We hope to find someone to love who will love us in return; and maybe have a family with that person,” says deMarco.
Jason and deMarco not only talk the talk, but they walk the walk. They found love, but realized something was missing. They began discussions about having kids five years into their relationship. At the seven year mark, they got serious about it. The couple had been traveling so much and came to the realization they could go on at that pace where their career was their life or acknowledge there was something more. For them, that something more was a family. Their story of becoming parents is a fascinating one. Jason will soon release a book entitled The Journey of Same Sex Surrogacy which he hopes to release in the fall. The abbreviated version is that the couple ultimately ended up with fraternal twins (Noah and Mason) who will turn two in May of this year. As if their story couldn’t get any more fascinating, Jason is the biological father of Noah, and deMarco is the biological father of Mason. In Texas, two same sex people are not allowed to go on a birth certificate. As such, the couple legally adopted each other’s child. How’s that for creating the life (or in this case, lives) you want?
With a loving partnership, a great career and two beautiful boys, this couple has created an amazing life. They want to impart what they’ve learned to others in in the LGBT community. Through their lives and their music, they continue to inspire us to live our best lives. “A lot of people are looking for what we found with each other. We have had bumps in the road. There are so many different kinds of relationships out there. For our relationship, it’s 100% communication and 100% responsibility…. honor your partner’s feelings...have fun. It’s so easy to get caught up in the little things that drive you crazy about each other. We can absolutely create whatever life we want for ourselves. Nobody is going to hand it to us on a silver plate. We have to go out there and do our homework. We knew what we wanted and figured out how we were going to make that happen…the same thing with our personal relationship…we see the life we want and we’re going to keep working on it because it’s what we both want,” says deMarco.
Jason and deMarco recognize how blessed they are. In an effort to give back and give others an opportunity to create the lives they want, they started a non-profit called SAFE. The goal for SAFE is to provide a Safe, Affirming, Family Environment for youth and young adults in need. For more information, please visit their website at http://safehavenforall.ning.com/.
"Anything is possible; with commitment, with faith and with action anything is possible.”
~Jason and deMarco